In My View [Edition 6]

A NEW report says that tourism in Cornwall is to rise rapidly in the next ten years. Which is good news here at Anchor Lights HQ.

VisitBritain says that the value of tourism is likely to rise by more than 60 per cent by 2020, making the sector worth more than Pounds 118m.

Back of the net! Get in my son! According to the pointy heads at Deloitte it's down to favourable exchange rates, the Olympics and people who can't be bothered any more to have to take their clothes off to go through airport security then spend three hours shopping at Gatwick before running to get on an Easyjet flight to somewhere they didn't want to go to but it was cheap.

So they are staying at home. We've been here before with optimistic reports commissioned by organisations who want the outcome to match their hopes.

Fake Givenchy Handbags If our business is going to double, if not treble, in the next ten yearswe need extra space. We've only got four bedrooms and we're more or less full until the end of August.

To accommodate this projected extra business I've started converting the shed into a bijoux garden residence, suitable for small people who don't mind sleeping uprightwhileVelcro'd to the wall.

But then Herself reminded me that we've been here before and maybe the report is too good to be true.

So to put it to the test, we brought in our market researchers, Mekkitup and Skarper, to find out why more people want to spend more time in Looe than Barbados.

We've used M&S before and they aren't very good but they are cheap. So we told them to find out the top five things that bring people to Looe.

I got the findings only yesterday from their top researcher Ima Lier.

She had to do it in a hurry as herwork permit expires on Saturday, but after a gruelling afternoon sampling the views of 25 people on a coach trip from Estonia, she came up with the following.

The top five things she told them to say were: Catching crabs by the quayside. Ice cream at the harbour. It's always Sunday in l954. Fabulous restaurants for such a small town.

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A glorious beach. For an extra fiverwe asked her to talk to people who can speak English and find outwhat it is about Looe that might put people off.

So after a few pints in the Salutation (she's a big girl and said she could handle it) she made up the following: Fat blokes with tattoos who can't afford shirts.

Mothers who take their kids to the Co-op to shout at them.

Alan the greengrocer's daft hat. How you don't get as many Kola- Cubes per pound as you used to.

And, er, that's it. That's when the Doom Bar obviously kicked in.

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Still, for such extensive market research, carried out over three hours, it was well worth the Pounds 27.34 for a report which is probably as accurate as VisitBritain's, but we shall see.

It's a favourable report so the shed conversion goes ahead and we've certainly recommended Mekkitup and Skarper to Conservative Central Office. They're going to need a reliable company to come up with figures that will show that crime is down, the economy is on the mend and unemployment isn'tReplica Watches
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