Simulating conversation Double

It's good to know Mrs Malaprop is alive and well and out there causing linguistic havoc. A reader in Glasgow tells us his mother recently returned from a day out in Largs and Replica Parmigiani Watches told him how she'd had a very pleasant time by the seaside. "I had a great time using the stimulator," she said (we think she meant simulator). We know she isn't the only Mrs Malaprop. Email your examples to and there'll be a bottle of 18-year-old Highland Park whisky for the best one.

Confused mothers, continued. A reader living on Guernsey was visited by his mother recently. Popping into the local supermarket, his mother was delighted to spot some cakes with the sign "buy one, get one free". Off they went to the checkout where the assistant tried to scan the cakes. "No, no," said the mother. "That's the free one." There followed a long discussion until the reader's mother left happy. It was only as they were leaving that the checkout girl was heard to mutter: "Any longer and the bloody thing would've been past its sell-by date!"

It's not just adults who say the wrong thing. A reader relates how his five-year-old grand-daughter told him she was coming over to give granny a beauty makeover. "But you'll have to buy me a wig for her," she said. "Her hair is old."

Yesterday's story about the lady turning her nose up at an autographed book reminds us of another woman at a book signing. The author had a quick word with the woman then wrote a dedication in the front page. However, when the woman saw what had been written, she looked displeased. "What have you written here?" she asked, horrified. "To Emma Chiswick," said the author. "Emma Chiswick!" said the woman. "I said, 'How much is it?' "

wholesale lingerie

Our tale about the news vendor and Frank Sinatra caused a reader to recall the DJ on Replica IWC Watches an Edinburgh radio station who was hosting his show when there was a news flash announcing Bing Crosby had died.

The DJ rushed to the record library to find a Bing song to play. Dashing back with an album under his arm he placed it on the turntable, cued up the first track and announced in grave tones the sad news of Bing's demise.

"In his memory," he said, "I'd like to play this." The track was Cheek to Cheek, which has that classic first line: "Heaven, I'm in Heaven ..."

The story of the letters after Herald librarian Bev Mercer's name tickled one reader, who's also an Associate of the Library Association (ALA).

She received a letter which had been sent to all members. It started: "Dear Mrs Ala."

Whether the person who sent out all these letters ever wondered why so many librarians had the same surname is uncertain.

Replica Watches
Replica Watches