IN PRAISE OF ... supermarket c

FOR proof of the capitalist world's much vaunted freedom of choice, just take a stroll down the breakfast cereals aisle of any supermarket. Wear stout footwear and take plenty of water.

They should put benches down these aisles, or provide a place of reflection for the stressed out, like they do at airports now. Multi- coloured boxes zenith replica of provender abound, and you can easily get your Golden Grahams mixed up with your Cinnamon Dereks.

Some of the names are wonderful. I used to buy Honey Nut Loops just for the name, until they dropped the "Nut". I also get unhealthily superstitious about cereals, believing bizarrely that the added vitamins help my morning writing. But my mate says they just put these in to replace the same stuff they took oot when they transformed a bit of wheat or corn into a flake or loop.

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When supermarket shopping, I factor in 45 minutes for the cereals aisle. And that's on top of the 40 minutes at the cheap DVDs section, where I don't see anything I like but insist there must be something. How I castigate myself: "You're just trying to tell from the title. You're not even picking up the cases to read the description. How do you know Jaws is about dentistry or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest concerns ornithology? And I've told you before: Psychos of the Damned isn't about Hearts."

Incidentally, what's Breakfast at Tiffany's about? A cereal- killer? Be that Replica Zenith Watches as may, the cereals aisles are massive because the supermarkets themseves offer cheaper, own-make versions of nearly every brand, effectively doubling the quantity. Thus you get See Yas next to Cheerios, or Grape Knobs next to Grape Nuts.

The customer's eyelobes try to take in this cornucopia of flakes, and the brain registers an overload of loops. Truly, we are in an aisle of plenty.

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